Demote Heilman, Omar.

Matt Wise and Ramon Castro are ready to come off the DL, meaning the Mets will have to jettison one of their skankier relievers. So of course speculation has centered on one of the few non-skanks in their bullpen--Joe Smith--as being a likely demotee, since he's one of the few Mets who doesn't belong to AARP and therefore has minor-league options remaining. That would be a terrible strategic move, not to mention a grave injustice. Smith has performed quite well, in general, letting only one inherited runner score. Smith's pitches have bite and he's a gritty competitor; the Mets can't afford to lose him right now.

The consensus seems to be that El capitán Skank Jorge Sosa would be gone if not for his $2 mil contract. Sosa has certainly underperformed, but there's no harm in having him pitch in mop-up situations, in the hope that he can use the time to work himself back into the pitcher he was at this time last year. Someone has to pitch those innings, might as well be him. Why eat all that cash when he can perform an essential service?

The solution is as obvious as it is unlikely to happen: Aaron Heilman should be sent to the minors, where he can work on becoming a starting pitcher once again.

Available and abundant evidence suggests that Der Kapitän Prostituierte Heilman doesn't have the temperament to pitch in tight late-inning situations. Given the greater margin for error allowed a starting pitcher, he might turn out to be a serviceable fifth starter. Certainly the Mets know all too well the value of having a decent stand-in ready when one of their glass-boned-paper-skinned starters go down. And it's not at all hard to foresee Heilman as a superior alternative to Pelfrey.

Of course, it makes too much sense, so it probably won't happen. Nah, Willie and Omar seem likely to go to their graves with minds closed to the idea of Heilman being a starter. Still, if I didn't think there's always hope, I couldn't be a Mets fan.